Were YOU Spoiled?

The original article was found in the New York Times in the Family Health category titled: “How Spoiled Are Our Children? No Simple Answer.” The original audience includes parents and an older audience who want to know if their children are spoiled. It addresses the issue of whether or not bad parenting leads to “spoiled kids.”  I changed the audience to a younger, blog audience. It is intended for high school age to college age, or other people who are no longer considered “kids.” I chose a different approach to the article, and instead of writing from the first person point-of-view of a parent, I am writing from the first person point-of-view of someone who was a “child.”  I wrote the blog as a post for teenagers and recent adults to see if they were spoiled as a child. I changed the diction to be more casual and conversational, although the original article was not strictly formal.

The original article: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/13/how-spoiled-are-our-children-no-simple-answer/

In our current generation, more and more parents and children alike question how “spoiled” kids are. Parents are now seen to be much more “chill” in the amount of freedom they allow.

Were you a problematic child? Do you have any attitude or behavioral problems?  If yes, were you spoiled by your parents as a child?  You might wonder whether your attitude and behavior is a result of parenting, genetics, or other factors unknown.

First off, we must address how to define the attitude and lifestyle commonly referred to as “spoiled”. Many feel that a child is spoiled if their parents take too much time caring for them. Take a minute and think of your parents. You might not know the answer to these questions, so maybe ask them over a dinner conversation. Were they the type of parents who picked you up when you cried or were they the type who waited for you to “self-soothe”?

Recently, an official pediatric line declared that it is impossible to spoil babies by taking good care of them. Therefore, there is no “caring too much” in parenthood, at least in the lines of spoilage. However, it’s important to be able to recognize the distinction between caring and tending to the every whim of a child.

In the same way, how do you know if you or your friends were “spoiled” as a result of the way you were raised? This then brings the question of whether your parents are even the reason for the attitude known as spoiled.  If we are playing along and saying, yes, parenting is the cause for spoiled children, let’s look at a few important factors.  

1)      Limits

Many parents believe that limits play a large role in parenting and how a child behaves. The three main areas of limits include food, sleep, and media. Now, think back to your childhood and reminisce on all the rules and wonderful restrictions your parents placed on you. If you had a strict bedtime, were taught to eat whatever food you were given, and had limited TV time, you’re probably doing okay. On the other hand, if you threw tantrums every time your mom told you to eat cauliflower, slept whenever you wanted and watched TV as your primary source of entertainment, this might be a problem on the SPOILED: YES OR NO spectrum. You’re probably leaning a teensy bit towards the yes, but who am I to judge?

2)      Self-control

Now we take a look at your self-control. Think back to all those times you threw temper tantrums. Or the time you hit a classmate and got in trouble. Or even the time you completely disregarded your parents’ rules. Maybe your parents left you alone, or maybe they didn’t tolerate tantrums at all. Think about all the times you were angry or sad or tired. How did you deal with these negative emotions? How did your parents deal with them? Pediatricians say that an important thing to teach children is to have self-control and strong emotional resilience.

3)      Money

Contrary to popular belief, spoiling is not about attention and is not even about money. A child may have very attentive parents who teach him or her all the proper values. Additionally, a child may have extremely wealthy parents who choose not to hand their child everything on a silver platter. So, which child were you?

In my opinion, being spoiled is beyond parenting or attention or money, but is more focused on discipline, self-control, and strong moral values. An individual who will get far in life has and was taught values to live a happier, more productive life. Does this mean if you were spoiled you don’t have the chance to be successful? No, I don’t think so. I simply gave some criteria on what is sometimes considered spoiled. However, this in no way means that you cannot have the life you desire. It’s not about what you received and if you were babied or sheltered, it’s about how you responded to the environment around you. We’re always learning new things, and although you may have been a spoiled child, you could grow out of it. Or, at least, I hope you do. Your past does not define your future, but it doesn’t mean you can’t take some time to look back at your childhood and wonder if you were just like the bratty kid that you look down at today.